Do Not See This Movie

Even though I knew it was mindless and silly, I avidly watched Sex and the City. I still watch it in syndication on occasion. I've seen every episode at least twice and many episodes half a dozen times.

Initially I wanted nothing to do with that show. Back in 2000, I subscribed to HBO for Sopranos and only started to watch SATC because a friend suggested I might like it. Like sushi and $20 mani/pedis, what single 20-something living in New York City wouldn't become addicted to it? Fashion, restaurants, girlfriends and, of course, dating.

So, despite my initial misgivings, I came to anticipate Sunday nights and 30 minutes with the four women who represent the most extreme parts of any of us, depending on the day. One season remained when I left NYC. When that season ended, my connection to the city fell further from my grasp.

Upon reflection about how the show ended, however, I came to realize how wronged I felt that Carrie and Big got together. On his time table, of course, and with the disturbing message that if a woman keeps herself gorgeous while putting up with endless crap and waits and hopes long enough, the frog will finally turn into a prince.

Blech. Ick. Stupid. Is that really what women want to believe? And if it is, then what is wrong with us?

When the movie came out earlier this year, I wasn't excited to see it. But I wanted to see the resolution. Would Carrie wise up and dump that idiot the way he had done to her countless times? Maybe reunite with Aiden or some similarly worthy guy?

Frankly, I didn't have much interest in seeing what would happen to the other characters. Samantha's fun to watch, no matter what she does. Charlotte's so irritatingly boring that I don't even care. Miranda's smart and makes the right choices in the end.

But Carrie, she's more of a wild card. And the one for which I held out hope. I had read a movie review that led me to believe I might be happier with this ending than I had been with the show's ending. I wish I could find that review, because it wasn't at all what I expected.

Spoiler alert. If you don't want to know, stop reading now. However, anyone really interested in SATC has surely already seen the movie.

Here are the lessons learned from this movie, in no particular order.

1. Wanting to get married is selfish and ruins things.

2. Having your dream wedding is grounds for being left at the altar (or on the library steps, as the case may be).

3. Getting caught up in wedding frenzy is an offense equal to abandoning your partner on their wedding day and, thus, requires the same apology.

4. Once said apologies have been exchanged and courthouse vows exchanged, prince and princess ride off into the sunset, sure to have a perfectly blissful life.

While I wanted to throw a rock at the screen (if only I'd had one) and even the more emotional Melissa was disillusioned, a woman near the front of the theater found loud sobbing a more appropriate reaction. Maybe she was crying because the ending was so dumb? I know I wanted to. I suppose it's more likely that she felt a profound emotional connection to events her own life. If only I could have found her, given her a big hug and suggested she get a connection to her self-esteem.

Sex and the City was a fun show and a fun movie. But I'm glad I watched this in my 20s and 30s, not more impressionable teens and 20s. There is an insidious message in this type of programming that is not doing women any favors.

Although I remind myself that the four SATC women are so extreme that only when combined do they form some semblance of a "real" woman. We're all a different blend of these characters, more (Miranda) or less (Charlotte), but I resent the implication that even a tiny portion of any of us should include a self-loathing emotional masochist who kisses the same frog over and over, thinking he's a prince. When he and everyone else knows he's still just a slimy frog.

And they all lived happily ever after. Ribbit. The end.